Jessica Simpson should never do this again

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Here's Jessica Simpson performing in San Antonio last night, and who the hell is her choreographer? There's no nudity, so it can't be Joe Simpson.

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But whoever it is, the only stage direction they seem to be giving is "Make sure you look 10-15 pounds heavier, and if you could flash a little gut, icing on the cake."

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Then again, that conversation could turn ugly once it's revealed the cake is metaphorical. If there's one thing Jessica Simpson hates, it's metaphorical food. And dieting.

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